In divorce cases, a good agreement is a win. If your case goes to trial, neither party will leave happy. You may ‘win’ on some issues, but nobody wins on all the issues. However, if you can successfully negotiate and take advantage of the dynamics of the early period right after separation, you are much more likely to walk away happy.Here are some things that may help your negotiation be much more productive:* Meet on neutral ground, where both parties are comfortable* Manage your time. Set aside enough time to really give a realistic opportunity to resolve the issues, but set a deadline to encourage movement.* Set an agenda. Don’t try to take on every issue in one day.* Do not bog down. If you get stuck, talk about things you agree on. Yes there are.* Reschedule as needed. Don’t make decisions out of panic. If things start to go really badly, leave and try again another day.* Don’t bring the kids or get the kids involved.* Start talking early. Negative emotions that accompany contested divorce rise over time. Try to get your agreements early, while there is still some good communication.* Don’t sign notes. Have your attorney refer to your notes to create a real legal document. Notes can say bad things you didn’t intend.* Never lie or withhold information from your attorney.Anything you tell your attorney is strictly confidential and will not be disclosed outside without your permission. However, no attorney can allow you to lie to a court. Your attorney-client privilege is lost when you share the information with a third party. So if you have your friend sit in on a conference with your attorney, or tell a family member all about what your attorney discussed with you, you may have just made them a witness.Most court hearings are open to the public, and anything said to the court or admitted as evidence becomes a part of public record.
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