There are a lot of resources around that discuss internet safety, however this article is aimed at the more -œmature- internet user who may not have much experience with computers or the internet. I’ll be writing from my perspective as Community Manager of an online dating and networking site designed for baby boomers and seniors – www.50and.com – as well as an avid user of social media and former dating site user (yes that’s right – I met my partner online!) 1. Join a reputable online dating site. In the past few years there has been an explosion in the number of online dating and social networking sites and unfortunately some operators of these sites are not particularly scrupulous. Do an internet search on the site name to see if you can find any additional information about them – or any user stories which may give you the confidence to join or sound the alarm bells!
2. Don’t reveal personal details. Keep your real name, phone number and email address to yourself. Taking communications away from the dating site can put you in a vulnerable position – reputable dating sites can monitor suspicious member behaviour and alert you to this – if you are communicating via email away from the site this can be more difficult 3. Choose your payment method. Reputable dating sites use an encrypted payment processing service – this information should appear on the payment pages. If you are hesitant to offer your credit card details check to see if a prepaid Visa or Mastercard gift card may be used as these are prepaid and not drawn from your bank account. Most postal outlets offer these gift cards for sale. 4. Scrutinise member profiles and received messages. Despite the checks and balances that are in place, non-genuine members may still find their way on to some sites. There are some tell tale signs to look out for if a member is not genuine, such as: Very verbose profile descriptions or messages which are excessively flattering and use common words/phrases such as -œDear-, -œGod-fearing-, -œdistance is no barrier- Messages that declare strong feelings for you early on in you communications Poor spelling/grammar especially for supposed native English speakers Incorrect capitalization, no spaces when commas are used (eg -œim patient,kind,caring,considerate- The photo doesn’t match the description, or the member looks like a professional model (not to say there aren’t good looking members out there, this is just another warning sign) Location does not match the profile description – they may be listed in one country but -œworking- in another (often for an aid agency or similar) Messages are usually quite lengthy and almost always include an email address to continue communications away from the site – as outlined above, this is to be avoided 5. Keep financial details private. Never, ever give credit card or bank details to another member. Never agree to cash a cheque or money transfer – this will more than likely result in you being out of pocket. 6. Safety in numbers. If you agree to meet, it should only be after you have exchanged several messages and have begun to get a -œfeel- for the other person. Meet in a busy place; never meet at your house the first time. Even if you feel like you really know the person well, it is imperative that you treat your first meeting with caution. If things don’t work out the way you expected you can leave a public place with more ease than a private home. Ensure that friends and family know where you are going, with whom (your new friend’s username, if not his/her real name) and what time you should be expected home. Ensure you have your mobile phone with you so you can communicate with others if required. 7. Trust your instincts. If something seems too good to be true, then it often isn’t. Connecting with someone you have met online can be a wonderful and exciting time, especially if it has been a while since you have felt close to someone romantically. As difficult as it may seem, try to take the emotion out of it and read received messages with a critical eye: analyse their tone, consistency, use of language. Does everything add up? A final word. There are many wonderful people just like you looking for someone special joining online dating sites, so don’t be afraid to join in – you never know what opportunities may arise! Just keep these tips handy, your eyes open and your wallet closed.
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